My first STD was from a foam party
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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