she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
