just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
