haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
