Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
