Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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