The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
