I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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