One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
