I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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