i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
