I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize