FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
