i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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