I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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