For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
