East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
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