Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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