I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
