We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
there is glitter all over my balls
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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