okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
