When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
