Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
