my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
