She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
