i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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