great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
