whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
