No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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