The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
