stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
