i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
