I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
