You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
nutella sex= disaster
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
