Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
