so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
