this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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