I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
