i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
