I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
