the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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