Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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