Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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