K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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