I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize