my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
