pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
