At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
