9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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