so explain again why im purple
no
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
