When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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