I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
