Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize