it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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