Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
