winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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