just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
