I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
