we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
