Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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