One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
