I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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