We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
