All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
