I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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