Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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